How to say grace.....

 

Going to far.......

 

Chinese Disease.......

 

Anti-depressant prescription......

 

Happy New Year......

 

A Tight Winter Hug....

 

Baking A Cake....

 

Desperate Planet......

OLD FOLKS HOME......

 On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors, pointing out some of her rules:

"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females.  Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

She continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point,  Alice stood up in the crowd and inquired: "How much for a season pass?”

Thoughts for Today........

1 The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2 Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions, you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m.; for example, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print - there's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

18. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Ford.

19. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
 

And REMEMBER...."POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON.

 

Merry Christmas.......

 

Managing yor weight in the holidays.....