Satisfied Housewife

​

Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an
excellent product you have.

I've used it all of my married life, as my
Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties
I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some
red wine on my new white blouse.

My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started
to belittle me  about how clumsy I was,
and generally started becoming
a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow
I ended up with his blood
on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative,
to my surprise and satisfaction,
all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well
the detectives who came by yesterday
told me that the DNA tests
on my blouse were negative.

Then my attorney called
and said that I was no longer considered
a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief !
Going through menopause is bad enough without being
a murder suspect!

I thank you, once again,
for having a great product.

Well, gotta go now.
I have to write to the Hefty bag people.