Damn Women Drivers

​

This morning on the Interstate,I looked over to my left and there was a
Woman 
In a brand new Cadillac 
Doing 65 mph

With her
Face up next to her
Rear view mirror 
Putting on her eyeliner 
I looked away 
For a couple seconds...

To continue shaving

And when I looked back she was 
Halfway over in my lane

Still working on that makeup
As a man, 
I don't scare easily 
But she scared me so                much;
I dropped 
My electric shaver 
Which knocked 
The donut 
Out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying
To straighten out the car 
Using my knees against 
The steering wheel, 
It knocked 
My Cell Phone 
Away from my ear
Which fell 
Into the coffee 
Between my legs!
Splashed, 
And burned 
Big Jim and the Twins, 
Ruined the damn phone,
Soaked my trousers,
And disconnected an
Important call. 
Damn women drivers