APHORISMS-1 to20

 APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE

EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION
OR A GENERAL TRUTH.

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always
starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will
make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when
you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is
afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants
to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they
demonstrate how many people a company can
operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger
than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy
who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get
more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a
wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their
team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a
nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way
you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not
everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have
thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's
more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19. After 50, IF you don't wake up aching in every
joint, you are probably dead!!

20. Always be yourself because the people that
matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't
matter!