In the real world.......

 *1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it*

*2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.*

*3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.*

*4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.*

*5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.*

*6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.*

*7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. 

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.*

*8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. 

To steal from many is research.*

*9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.*

*10 In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency,
notify... "I answered, a doctor."*

*11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down 

the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.*

*12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. 

You only need a parachute to skydive twice.*

*13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.*

*14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you
hit the target.*

*15. **Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, 

any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.*

*16. You are never too old to learn something stupid.*

*17 I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder
for me to find one now.*